Valentine’s Day and Cancer Walk Update…

Author: Jessica

February 17th, 2008

Thank you so much for all your help and support of our First Annual Childhood Cancer Walk and Run. Our walk was held on February 9th, one day before our One Year Anniversary of becoming an official non-profit organization. I can’t believe how much has been accomplished in one year. The Walk was a great success.
I was greatly moved by the cancer families who joined us for the Walk. One young man with bone cancer and a prosthetic limb, walked the entire three miles pulling a wagon with a 2 year old cancer kid along for the ride. Another little four year old girl, who lost her little brother to leukemia less than a year ago, ran with great determination in the one mile kid’s run and told her family that she won the entire race. I wish you could have seen her great big smile when she crossed the finish line. Also, one of Brooke’s friends from TCH, completed the one mile kid’s run in her wheel chair. Her Dad, who battles MS, ran the mile pushing his girl the entire way. Incredible emotion flooded all of our hearts when they crossed the finish line. It was more than a race…it was a declaration of victory over cancer…the smiles and shouts demonstrating this clearly. Thank you for helping to make this day a GREAT, GREAT success!
At the beginning of 2008, we had set a goal to raise $30,000. Our BIG Love Walk exceeded this goal. We made over $38,000. We wanted to start small…and then grow and expand as the funds allowed. As a starting place for BIG Love, we began providing weekly groceries and weekly catered meals to the critical care cancer families at Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Since January 2008, we have provided this service every week to approximately two-three families. Things are working out great, and the families have been very appreciative.
Also, for Valentine’s Day this year, we delivered over 40 large and 70 small Valentine Baskets to TCH and around 20 baskets to ACH…each large basket ranging in price from $70-100. BIG, BIG thanks to all who sponsored baskets and volunteered to make this holiday extra special. On the 9th floor, kids were dashing from the playroom back to their rooms when they heard that someone was bringing a Valentine surprise. They were sitting in the middle of their beds waiting patiently for our arrival…much like Brooke did the day she heard Santa was in the building. My mom, who is usually the behind the scenes person and generally just pushes the cart from door to door, delivered some of the baskets to the rooms on the 9th floor. She told me that when she entered one of the rooms, a little boy about 10 years old gave her a big smile and then jumped out of his bed and threw his arms around her and “LOVED HER UP.” She said at that moment, she truly understood what the mission of BIG LOVE was and that display of love by that little boy made it all worthwhile.
Valentine’s at ACH was just as incredible. One cancer mom explained that this was the first time in her entire life that anyone has ever done anything for her on Valentine’s Day. We were humbled. We not only delivered LOTS of baskets and 26 Giant Bears donated by Wal-Mart to all the PICU kids, but we also provided massages and pedicures to all the cancer moms. One Mom was so relaxed after her massage that she feel asleep in the massage chair. Each Mom explained to us that this was their first time to EVER receive a pedicure or massage. What a blessing. I think Brooke would probably say, “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”
Our goal NOW will be to expand our scope of service…to hopefully, in the near future, provide meals, groceries, and parking passes to the families at Texas Children’s Hospital as well.
You are a BIG part of all that we have accomplished thus far, all that we are doing, and we greatly appreciate you. Thank you for loving us and for believing in our vision.

In His Service,
Chaney and Jessica Phillips

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Some tips…

Author: Jessica

January 22nd, 2008

I opened up Carepages today and discovered that two more of our cancer friends have gone on…to see Jesus and Brooke. I can’t explain the pain this evokes inside my own heart…as I read how a Mom and Dad held their child and placed their hands on his heart until the final heartbeat was felt. Many have said that this moment is a glorious one…as you hold your loved one’s hand as they leave this life and step into eternity. Although I am so very glad I was able to be with my girl…and she wasn’t in the hands of a stranger or all alone…her last day, her last four hours, often bring me to my knees. Many nights, I lay in bed thinking of that day…thinking what I could have done different…wishing I could somehow change the outcome. To me, without a doubt, watching your child take their last breath…has to be the most excruciating experience that we as humans might ever have to face. I have thought about all the different kinds of sufferings in this world…and I would gladly take them all…at the same time…then to have to endure the loss and suffering of a child…a life that you love way more than your own. Someone described to me recently about a 4-wheeler accident their child was involved in and the emergency room visit that followed. As they described their day of trauma, fear and anxiety, I began to tear up. My friend, sensing my emotional downhill plunge, asked me what was wrong. I said, “that feeling is just very familiar to me…we experienced that intense fear and anxiety almost daily for two years.” The many, many times I stood or kneeled beside Brooke’s bed as she cried or hurt…and the intense desire in me to help her…but always found myself unable to do enough, unable to take the pain away, unable to rescue her or protect her. So helpless. I struggle with this…with all the suffering she experienced…all the pain. How I wish it was me and not her…a sweet, innocent, five year old, little girl. All these emotions flooded my heart this morning as I wept over our cancer friends that have left this life. Surely they are safe now…but my heart breaks and hurts so desperately for all the loved ones they left behind…for all the Mom’s and Dad’s and Sisters and Brothers.

Unfortunately, all of us who have lost a child, are now a part of group we never wished to join…and the only group in which we feel we belong. Chaney and I have earnestly tried to “get back into the swing of things,” but when we have, we have taken a chance on getting hurt…of opening up fresh and raw wounds. You step out a little and test the water and depending on your experience, you either venture a little deeper or crawl back into hiding. I always, however, find safety with those who have suffered as we have. It is healing to just be together…no words need be spoken…for we know the pains of each other’s hearts…the regrets, the agonizing thoughts, the fears, the depression, the anger, the loneliness and emptiness. There is really no need to talk…but if we do, it is safe. Chaney and I long for this at times…a safe place to rest…to be ourselves. I know it is hard at times for people on the outside to relate and help. I do know that the motives and intentions of their hearts are good, but their ability to understand the degree and extent of the pain is limited. Today, I tried to write down a few things that might be helpful:

1.Do not relate their pain and loss to other tragedies such as: someone getting a divorce, etc. Although this is certainly difficult, it is very different.

2. Just serve. Looking back, we do not remember much of what people said to us, but we do remember all the little acts of kindness such as: meals, house cleaning, keeping other siblings. We had a family that took

Taylor out for a special day. They bought all her school supplies and got her ready to start school.

3. Just be there. We had several ladies that just hung out at our house. They cleaned and they cooked for days. They welcomed all the company and keep things going. When we did decide to talk or cry, they were there.

4. Just listen. It is hard to find someone to just sit and listen. I think that is why counselors/psychologists are much more prevalent these days. It is sad to think that we have to pay to have someone just listen. You do not have to have answers…even if they ask (I always asked). There are no good answers…nothing that will justify the sacrifice of their child.

5. Try not to go on and on about your kids or your life. Although on a good day, they would probably be interested in your child’s soccer game, they cannot “hear” what you are saying. It sounds like “blahblahblahblah.”

6. Don’t apologize for not helping out during their tragedy because you are too busy. If you are too busy to help out…certainly, don’t tell them that.

7. Try not to over-use the… “They are in a better place…no more pain” phrase. Although, as parents we are so glad our kids are in a better place…we grieve because they are not with us, and now we have to try to live the rest of our lives with a giant hole in our hearts.

8. Don’t tell them to remember that they have other children to attend to and a spouse. They know that. But unfortunately, at the moment, it feels like both legs and both arms have been cut off, and at the moment, they are having trouble even breathing. You know, you can get-over a Cold or a scrape, but when your leg is chopped off, it is a little more difficult. That leg will not grow back. Even if you got a prosthetic limb, it will not take the place of the original. And as a phantom limb illustrates by aching and hurting for the rest of your life, so does your heart and mind ache continuously when you lose a child…a reminder that a part of you is gone.

9. Don’t rush (or be quick to judge) the grieving process. I am convinced it is a lifelong process and adjustment. It is a new way to live. The whole entire family is affected…holidays are traumatic (one person is always missing)…marriages have to re-adjust, and the siblings are lonely and angry as well. The whole dynamics of the family have been turned upside down.

10. Let them feel whatever they are feeling. I have received such healing from friends and family that will just let me say and do and be what I need to be in the moment.

11. Be understanding. Be understanding of their quietness, their anger, their solitude, their hiding. One day, they will come out from hiding and start going out in public again and answering their phone. Until then, do not take it personally. It really has nothing to do with you.

12. Be willing to be a friend not only on the sunny days, but also on the rainy. I shared with someone recently that all our days are rainy right now. We are probably not the most exciting, best people to hang with…but it means a lot to us when some of our friends have chosen to stay beside us…even on our rainy days…when we have very little to offer.

13. Be forgiving of the “angry” things said or done. Anger is such a big issue in grieving. I guess that is why many marriages do not succeed. You really have to extend lots of grace and mercy. I can’t tell you how many times I have had to say…“I really don’t mean anything I just said. Please forgive me.”

14. Remember and talk about their loved one. Someone not too long ago sent BIG Love a check and at the bottom they wrote, “I love Brooke.” I cried and cried. It meant so much to me that someone else, that never met Brooke, loves her and that she still means a lot to them.

15. Don’t act like their child never existed. I like to talk about Brooke, and I like to know that others think about her. She will always be a part of us. We have her pictures all around, and we all like to talk about Brookie stories. The good memories help keep the traumatic thoughts away.

Hope this helps a little,

Jessica

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Christmas and Valentine’s Day

Author: Jessica

January 3rd, 2008

BIG Love was very successful in bringing Christmas cheer to the hospitals this holiday season. For Texas Children’s Hospital, we were able to cater a chopped beef sandwich lunch, thanks to my brother Gaby, as well as give hand made blankets, board games, DVD movies and restaurant gift cards to all of the 36 rooms on the cancer floor. For Arkansas Children’s Hospital, we were blessed by Mimi’s Café who gladly donated a large Christmas meal for the entire third floor. They provided turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy and desserts. They not only cooked all day on Christmas when the restaurant was closed, but they delivered all the food and helped us make plates and deliver meals to each room. Their generosity greatly blessed our hearts. We were also able to deliver gifts to each cancer kid. It was so much fun to watch the kids open their presents. I know we made the holiday a little brighter.

Because Valentine’s Day is a LOVE Holiday, we like to make this a BIG celebration at the hospitals. Besides providing Gift Baskets to each child, we are also going to cater a meal.

Items to collect for Gift Baskets: We will separate and group items together based on age(birth to 20) and gender. Do not wrap items or put in a basket. Please drop-off all items by Friday, February 8^th in order to give us time to organize everything. Drop-off sites are listed on our website. Valentine Gift Sets, Heart Chocolate Boxes, Valentine New Stuffed Animals (no beanie babies), Valentine mugs, cups, pencils, erasers, etc., Valentine Candy, Hats, Bandanas, Blankets, Soft Pillow Cases and Towels, Snacks, Drinks, Socks, House Shoes, Books, Magazines, Puzzles, Crossword Puzzles, Coloring Books and Crayons, Movies, Games, Art and Craft Kits, Bath and Lotion Sets, and McDonald’s, Subway, Sonic or Chick Fil A Gift Cards.

Sponsor a Cancer Kid for Valentine’s Day: To be more specific and personal with our gift baskets this year, you can sponsor a particular cancer kid and collect gifts “perfect” for them. However, you will not know the age and gender of your child until approximately a week before Valentine’s Day (It is hard to know way in advance who will be inpatient on a particular day). If you would like to do this please let me know. I will call you (or e-mail you) a week before and let you know the age and gender of your child. We are setting a price of about $70-$100 for each basket. Many of our baskets last year were made by several families or friends who did their basket together. Please deliver your “ready-to-go” baskets on February 12^th to the drop-off sites listed on our webpage or to TCH or ACH. We need 15 sponsors in AR and 36 in TX. All the extra items that we collect above can then be given to the kids at the clinic.

Thank you for helping to make this holiday EXTRA Special!

Chaney and Jessica Phillips

www.biglovecancercare.org

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BIG Love’s Childhood Cancer Walk-Run

Author: Jessica

October 1st, 2007

Dear Friends,

We are planning a childhood cancer walk-run and fundraiser for Saturday, February 9th in Angleton, TX at the recreation center. In 2008, we will not only be raising money to give to Texas Children’s for research, but hopefully, we will raise enough to be able to start some of our services( catered meals, gift baskets, groceries) to critical care cancer kids and their families at Arkansas Children’s Hospital. Although the Walk will be held in TX, we will be asking for sponsorships and school participation from Arkansas as well. Hopefully in 2009, we will be able to have a Walk in AR, too.

Not only can you come run or walk in the 1 mile or 5k race, but we are also giving a “Fight Childhood Cancer” trophy to the school that collects the most donations for Cancer Kids, and a new pair of running shoes to the student at each school that collects the most donations.

We are also offering sponsorships to churches, corporations and organizations (Courage Sponsor - $10,000, Faith Sponsor - $7500, Believe Sponsor - $5000, Strength Sponsor - $2500, Hope Sponsor - $1000, Peace Sponsor - $500, and Love Sponsor - $250). Sponsors will not only be recognized in our newsletter and on our event t-shirts, but they will also receive a beautiful portrait of a cancer kid to display at their place of business, church or organization. If you would like more information, please e-mail me at jessica@biglovecancercare.org and I will e-mail you our event brochure and flyer. Also, our BIG Love DVD will be ready in November.

Whereas most cancer organizations focus on cures for adult cancers, our primary focus is childhood cancers and finding a cure! Every school day, nine children die of cancer(3000 every year)…and in the last 50 years, more children have died from cancer than US soldiers in all military actions combined. We do need your help. And as a family, we are determined to not only love other cancer families like Brooke loved us, but to help provide the necessary funding for research…This is our vision and lifelong pursuit!

Thank you so much for your help and for partnering with us in this GREAT cause!

The Phillips Family

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June Newsletter and Monthly Pledges

Author: Jessica

August 20th, 2007

Dear Family and Friends,

In July of 2003, we visited a children’s medical clinic in San Pedro Sula, Honduras. While long lines of parents and children waited outside the clinic doors, the most critically ill children, with gross deformities, life-threatening sores and terrible illnesses, were taken into the humid and hot clinic room for medical treatment. Baby beds and cribs lined the walls as well as the center of the room. As a group, we made our way to each bed to offer food, drinks, prayers and hugs. Sorrow gripped our hearts as parents looked at us in desperation…hoping for help and an answer. We offered them what we had…wishing we could do more. When we exited the building, we wept uncontrollably…feeling the pain and suffering of those in that small room.

Exactly one year and two months later, as we were about to begin our journey into the area of missions, we, ourselves, came face-to-face with desperation and suffering…when our three year old daughter, Brooke Alyson, was diagnosed with the rarest and most aggressive form of childhood leukemia. Many nights, as I lay in the hospital bed with my sweet girl, I thought about the moms at that Honduran medical clinic. I remembered vividly the look in their eyes, and the many tears that ran down their face. I wanted desperately to reach for them…for now, we fought the same enemy…death. We now shared the same fears. We now knew firsthand, as they did, the intense pain of watching your child hurt and suffer…feeling helpless and desperate.

We will never fully understand on this side of heaven why our precious little girl had to leave this life. However, we do understand that although short, her life had purpose and will continue to have purpose…as we carry on her legacy of love. Now, as we look at the faces of other cancer kids… with their bright eyes, big smiles, bald heads, and many, many battle wounds…we will not only see our sweet Brooke, but we will see our purpose.

We are asking you, our family and our friends, to help us extend BIG Love to kids like Brooke…who spend numerous years at a hospital and much of their childhood fighting a terrible and relentless enemy. It is our goal to begin serving cancer kids and their families right now by providing catered meals, groceries and a basket of basic hospital essentials. To begin doing this, we will need an approximate monthly income of $3000.

We are beginning a monthly pledge drive. If you agree to support BIG Love on a monthly basis, we will send you a BIG Love t-shirt and monthly envelopes to begin your giving. Just call 870-863-4490 or e-mail me at jessica@biglovecancercare.org. Don’t forget to send your address (so I can mail you a BIG Love t-shirt. Also send your t-shirt size) and your pledge amount ($10, $20, $30, $50, etc.). THANK YOU!

Also, most of our BIG Love fundraising items are now available. Just call or e-mail your order.Prices do NOT include shipping.

BIG Love T-shirts - $12 (purple, turquoise or brown). Silver Bangle Bracelets with Mother Teresa Quote - $12

Monogrammed “I Love You Up To The Sky” Fleece Blankets (50”x60”) - $30(Hot Pink, Baby Blue, Turquoise, Lime Green,Orange, or soft Purple). Our Cookbooks will be ready by November just in time for Christmas gifts. Over 400 delicious recipes…featuring many of our cancer kid Heroes!! The expected price is between $20-25.We love you guys…Jessica and family

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B.I.G. Love Father’s Day

Author: Jessica

June 19th, 2007

Hi Carepage Family,

I wanted to share with you what an incredible blessing it was to go to Texas Children’s Hospital this past Saturday to deliver Father’s Day gifts. We met many sweet, sweet families…and so many incredible kids. One of the first families we spoke with…was a super, proud Dad of a beautiful, blue-eyed, baby girl. Although his sweet girl was asleep and we didn’t get to meet her personally…we heard all about her. Her Dad held up a big poster-sized picture for all of us to see. Before we knocked on his door, he told us that he had been reading a book about how to make it through a cancer battle. He said that he flipped to the end of the book and began to read the “Top 10” list of things to do. He said # 10 on the list said, “Open yourself up to the love and care of others.” He said he had just finishing reading that, when we knocked on his hospital door…and their we stood…Brookie’s people…with a great, BIG Father’s Day gift. We spoke with him for a while and cried a little too. I hope for that brief moment…we were able to give this sweet family enough hope and enough love to help them through the remainder of their day!

The Article below was written by Butch McReynolds – Publisher of The Times Community News. He joined us as we delivered baskets this Saturday. This article will be published in Wednesday’s paper. It is a few pages long…but I thought it was very insightful! You can also view an article from The Brazosport Facts (www.thefacts.com) written in Saturday’s paper.

As my wife and I turned off Holcombe on to Fannin, something started churning in my stomach last Saturday in Houston. And then as I turned into Texas Children’s Hospital and took the parking ticket stub out of the machine, I remembered I had been here before. My stomach started to churn, but there was no turning back. We were about to hit the beach and the hatch was coming down. And I knew the enemy would be there ready to open fire. The hatch that opened just happened to be an elevator door on the ninth floor of the hospital. No loud bombs going off, no machine gun fire. But you knew the enemy was there. Silent, but deadly. Behind each one of the 36 doors on the cancer floor is where the trenches are and where families dig in to meet the enemy head on. My dad used to tell me that there is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole. And years later I question “why should there be?”

While some question why a loving God would ever allow this to happen to small children like these, those on the battlefield roll up their fighting sleeves and believe for miracles. Although the miracle stories are few and far between, the battle for survival is real and brutal. While dedicated doctors and nurses parade the hallway with their God-given abilities and talents, there is always hope that cancer research will soon come up with a cure before another life is yanked needlessly away. There is not a family member on that ninth floor who wouldn’t carry out God’s greatest description of love and friendship.”Greater love hath no man than to lay his life down for his friend.” To most of those parents, it would make life so much simpler.

A year ago, Chaney and Jessica Phillips went through the same World War, and held on for dear life as their precious five-year old girl, Brooke, slipped off into eternity. And while Brooke dances all around heaven’s gates and tells angels “there’s no problem of it,” Chaney and Jessica find themselves roaming the beachfront wondering what happened and why.But somehow, someway, they have been able to take each other’s hand and stagger to their feet with the help of the same God who once allowed his only begotten son to be nailed to a cross and suffer one of the most humiliating deaths in the history of all mankind. A guy named MacArthur once promised a group of Filipinos that he would return, and brother did he return. Chaney and Jessica promised God, and themselves, that they too would return.

Saturday’s trip to the ninth floor must have brought a lot of smiles from heaven. The B.I.G. Love Cancer Care Services are alive and well. While there remains a great need for cancer research, B.I.G.(Brooke’s Incredible Gift) Love reaches out to the critical cancer patients and the loved ones in the trenches with them. You see, Jessica and Chaney know all about such hospital stays. They know what it is like to see a struggling child hooked to a pole in a hospital room. They know what it is like to sit around for days in a hospital room hoping for the best, getting very little sleep and seeing few faces save doctors and nurses and other warriors in adjacent rooms. They know what it is like eating hospital food and out of snack machines. They know how expensive it is to park at the hospital and how difficult it is to get a change of clothes.

So Saturday, as the newly formed B.I.G. Love foundation does on several occasions during the year, big baskets were taken to each room, this time in the name of Father’s Day. In each basket, you could find anything from snacks to flashlights, even a roll of quarters to help feed the vending machines in the middle of the night. Phone cards, toiletries, detergent, cans of coffee, anything to make those visits more bearable.
While the baskets were passed out about mid morning, the sights were all too familiar. Some of the kids and parents were asleep, probably from having rough nights. But one thing was common, that being smiling, appreciative faces from both the kids and the parents.

And while Saturday’s festivities were about the kids and their families couped up in those rooms and fighting the real fight, I can’t tell you how proud I am of Chaney and Jessica for the work they are doing. And I have no doubt that B.I.G. Love has not tipped the iceberg of the ministry it will be in the future. Supplying meals once per week, parking passes, grocery wish lists for those who cannot leave, along with memorial gifts and get-away retreats for grieving parents are all in the future mix. And kudos to those who volunteered their time to help deliver those God-sent baskets. I know Rep. Dennis Bonnen probably had a lot of things he could have been doing on a Saturday morning, but instead opted to help some old friends out. Bonnen, who went to Angleton High School with Chaney and Jessica, was there as a servant, pushing the carts around and helping deliver the heavy baskets and believe it or not, trying to avoid clicking cameras.
Mother Teresa must have been thinking ahead in a vision of B.I.G. Love when she was quoted as saying, “We cannot all do great things but we can do small things with great love.” If you would like to do small things with great love, then you might want to go to the website, biglovecancercare.org. Once there, you can keep track of the foundation’s activities and make a donation if you wish. You can also sign up for the newsletter, which comes out quarterly.

Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Why doesn’t God heal all those folks on the ninth floor of Texas Children’s Hospital? I would like to tell you that I had all the answers, but folks with a lot more wisdom than me have been trying to answer these questions for centuries. What I do know is this, that the same God we question is our only hope in death, whether it comes when you are five months old or 120 years old.
And as hard as it is for me to say that good things can come out of terrible situations.
Brooke Alyson’s life was, and still is, a testimony to that.

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Mother’s Day at the Hospitals

Author: Jessica

May 17th, 2007

We delivered all of our Mother’s Day baskets this weekend to Arkansas Children’s and Texas Children’s Hospitals…a total of 86 baskets. Each basket was so nice…ranging in price from $50 to $100. I started to add this up and realized that we delivered over $4300 in Mother’s Day donations. WOW! Thank you so much…to those who put together a basket and to those who helped to deliver them. It was such a blessing and a pleasure to see how surprised and overjoyed the Mom’s were to receive a basket full of goodies. One Mom couldn’t believe that the whole basket was for her, and several Mom’s came and found us to thank us again for thinking of them. One Dad tried to take the credit for the basket…telling his wife it was from him…haha. There were many tears and lots of hugs. I hope it made Mother’s Day weekend a little brighter…and a little better!

Our next project is Father’s Day gifts. We are going to have Dad’s(from our family and friends) deliver the gifts to the hospitals this time, and Representative Dennis Bonnen has agreed to join the group as well. I hope this little act of kindness will bring a measure of strength to all the PICU and Cancer Kid Dad’s this Father’s Day. Let me know if you are interested in putting together a Father’s Day gift (jessica@biglovecancercare.org). The items to include in your gift bag are listed below. Please include at least one of each item listed and put them all in a large gift bag and deliver by June 7^th or 8^th. Delivery locations are listed on our website: www.biglovecancercare.org Items to include: Razors and shaving cream, $10 in quarters (for vending machines), Key chain flashlight, Cap, Socks, Snacks(chips, pretzels, peanuts, cookies, crackers, gum, etc.) Drinks(waters, tea or juice), Insulated Cup with lid, Flavored coffee, Flavored powdered creamer, Sports magazine.

Thank you so much. I can tell you firsthand…that these small things…done with great love…mean so much when you are hospital-bound…when you are weary and battle-worn. I remember one evening in the hospital when Brooke was really, really sick. For seven days, she had extremely high fevers…up to 105. Her lungs were very sick…she was hurting, and she wanted to stay in my lap all the time…almost 24 hours a day. It was about 11:30 p.m. one evening, and I had just laid Brooke down in her bed…and in my room walks two of my friends. They didn’t say a word…they took me in their arms and held me, hugged me, and cried with me. I sobbed and sobbed. At that moment…that was all I needed. When parents have a cancer kid…they are literally fighting…as in a war…every single day. Not only are they fighting hard against the sickness with everything humanly possible…but they are also fighting against fear, anxiety, and exhaustion. Each day, you anticipate and hold your breath as the nurse brings in the daily blood work results. You are desperate for hope and look for ANY sign of it…whether big or small. Sometimes, just a smile from the nurse or doctor…would be all I needed to move with hope through that day. Each minute felt like an hour, and each day felt like a year! Waiting…hoping…believing! This explains the very reason why we want to do what we do…through BIG Love. Although our gifts, hugs and smiles may seem so small, I know it also delivers something BIG…HOPE and JOY and LOVE. Our vision statement for BIG Love says: BIG Love…to renew your hope, make you smile and love you up! What a privilege to get to do so!

Love you guys,Jessica

If you are interested in receiving our quarterly newsletter, you can e-mail me with your address or sign-up on our webpage. The newsletter will feature different cancer kids each quarter…along with all the BIG Love news and events. Thanks!

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A Story of Sacrifice and A Story of the Speedster Princess

Author: Jessica

May 1st, 2007

I received a call from my Mom yesterday. Her and a friend, Mrs. Betty, have been busy putting together their Mother’s Day Baskets. She called to tell me a very touching story. She went to Mrs. Betty’s house for a visit, and they were discussing the items in their baskets. At the time, Mrs. Betty had some company, a friend of the family, playing cards with her 88 year old husband. This woman listened to them tell of their plans to take the baskets to the Children’s Hospital…and listened as my Mom made mention that all she had left to get for her basket was a coffee mug. As the woman got up to leave, she handed my Mom $5. She explained, “This is for that coffee mug.” She continued to tell my Mom that a long time ago…I had taught two of her children in Sunday School. She asked my Mom to please send to our family her love and prayers. After she left, Mrs. Betty explained to Mom how BIG of a sacrifice her $5 really was. She explained that this woman lives in her car at her place of employment because she cannot afford to pay for gas to get to and from work. Mrs. Betty, Mom and I were so very humbled by this gift, and we all had a good cry together. Thank you Betty’s friend…for your sacrifice.

As all of our baskets have been coming in, it has been a joy to see other people so excited and enthusiastic about giving and serving. As I looked through some of the baskets this weekend, I began to get very emotional. I know firsthand what the baskets will mean to the other cancer Mom’s. I remember many days in the hospital…where I would just stare out the window and watch as other people were so busy about their lives. I yearned to be where they were…on the other side of the hospital walls…walking with their children, going to lunch, laughing with friends. They were free…their kids were free. I know that when someone came to visit us at the hospital…when someone would reach out to us with love and concern…it made that moment more bearable. Plus, it made Brooke smile. It didn’t matter how many stuffed animals or coloring books she already had…all the gifts, big and small, made her day better…happier. I am so grateful for those who served us over the course of our two years…and so grateful to those who made my girl SMILE!

One particular instance comes to mind…one morning around 8 a.m., my sister, Aunt Zelle, comes busting through the hospital door. And in her arms was a brand new Barbie Big Wheel…covered in Spiderman (the love of Brooke’s life) stickers. My sister explained…”Now Brooke has her own hospital bike.” Brooke took off on that Big Wheel…and from that day forward, we all took turns chasing Brooke round and round the hospital floor. What was great…was to watch Nanny and Granny chase Princess Brooke…who was always wearing a princess dress and high heels…even on her bike. Brooke would look back over her shoulder and laugh as Granny and Nanny would try to catch up with her. Her little mischievous eyes were sending only one message… “CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.” Pretty soon, even the nurses were chasing her, fearing somehow that her IV pole would get left behind by the Speedster Princess. As Brooke flew past her doctors, the doctors would yell to the nurses, “What are Brooke’s platlets today?” From our room, I could hear Granny and Nanny yelling, “Help…somebody help.” I would watch as Brooke would round the corner and pass our room…she would look in at me with a little smirk on her face…I looked back at her with much approval (don’t tell the grandma’s…it was just too funny). Next, I would see the Grandmas come running by our room screaming and yelling for help. Brooke went round and round until she wore each of us out…sometimes, we even recruited others to take Speedster Brooke for a few more high intensity laps. I absolutely love this memory and can see it so vividly in my mind…and it still makes me laugh.

Our family in Texas will be delivering Mother’s Day Baskets to TCH on Saturday, May 12^th, and Chaney, Taylor and I will be delivering the AR baskets on Mother’s Day…Sunday, May 13^th.

We reached our goal…41 baskets in AR and 36 baskets for Texas! Again, thanks to all who participated, and a special thanks to Janice Murphy, Marshall and Sandy Sharp and Cross Life Church, April Madding and
West Side Baptist Church,Debbie Arnold, Rita Benton and Lisbon Methodist Church who rounded up LARGE numbers of AR baskets!! Thank you! I certainly could not have done this without you!

You can deliver your baskets this Thursday and Friday (May 3-4). If you need more time, just e-mail me, and we will make other arrangements for drop-off. Just a reminder…please include all the items that are on the list. We would really like for all the baskets to be about the same.

If you are in AR…you can drop-off the baskets to any of the above listed people or myself. If you are in TX, please deliver your baskets to Granny Sharron Phillips or Tom @ West End Baptist Church, Houston, TX. Please call before you come. (Please see our webpage for drop-off addresses and phone numbers).

Also, I am going to continue receiving recipes until May 30^th. If you need a recipe form, you can print one from our webpage.

It is a joy serving with you…

Jessica

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B.I.G. Love is up and running!

Author: Jessica

April 23rd, 2007

Although, the last six months have at times been unbearable, we have had moments of joy…mostly as we have moved forward with BIG Love. We have found that the joy that BIG Love brings comes not only from serving other cancer kids and seeing Brooke in each of their smiles…but feeling as if Brooke were with us, that she is proud of us and that we are spending time with her as we reach out to others. It allows us to move forward instead of backwards. Chaney and I are learning to live in the moment…and to move forward with thoughts of Brooke that are good and peaceful and joyful. Not an easy task…as we have re-evaluated and scrutinized the last few years over and over again…trying to fix it…trying to make everything better somehow. We have dealt seriously with lots of issues, beliefs, and emotions. And we still struggle daily through sorrow, grief and anger. It is a process for sure…nothing that happens quickly. It has been very difficult to try to be “normal” again.

Thankfully, my niece, Cassie, moved in with us this past November…and she has helped us more than she will ever know. I have told Chaney repeatedly… “I think Cassie is saving our lives…and she doesn’t even know it.” She has not only been my niece…she has been my friend. And, because of her many softball games, we have had to get up and GO. At one game, after she hit a homerun way over the fence, I stood and yelled and screamed and clapped…and then I realized…that I was enjoying the moment. It really felt good…for the sorrow to disappear for a second. She has brought us joy and strength…I am grateful. Although she is going to graduate this year, I have not ceased in begging and trying to bribe her to stay with us another year!

Many of you have asked about my Dad…thank you for your prayers and concern. He is out of the nursing home and making small improvements daily to walk and talk again. He wants to get well enough to come to Arkansas to see his “Little Taylor” play some softball.

Also, please remember in your prayers the Niedziejko family and the Frisby family. Hunter Niedziejko and Jorden Frisby are now with Brooke in heaven. These two little boys fought long, hard battles with cancer. They will be greatly missed.

Before I close, I wanted to give you an update on BIG Love:

Our webpage is complete. You can all come visit us now at:

www.biglovecancercare.org

It is AWESOME!! I love it. Be sure to check out each page…so you can see all the pictures. Some of the kids pictured are still undergoing treatment, some are in remission, and some are with Princess Brooke. Also, check out the photo gallery. We have new pictures from Austin, the Tree Dedication, and Krystil Burney’s SFA softball pitch.

Also, don’t forget to sign-up on the website to receive the BIG Love Newsletter. Hopefully, we will mail the first newsletter in June with a copy of the Resolutions that were read at the State Capitol.

We have all of our Mother’s Day and Father’s Day Baskets for Texas Children’s Hospital…72 total. Thanks all Brooke’s people…we love you and know that the baskets are going to be such a huge blessing to all the Mom’s and Dad’s.

And…our Cookbook is coming along. I can’t wait to put it all together with the pictures and stories of other cancer kids…and their favorite eats! If you have not already, you can send them to my e-mail. We are hoping to have the cookbooks ready by the Fall…Brooke’s Incredible Cookbook!

Sending BIG Love to you,
Jessica

Also, Brooke’s dog, Aly, had her puppies. There are four…one boy and three girls. We are going to keep the boy. We are naming him JohnBoy!

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Our Day at the Capitol

Author: Jessica

April 1st, 2007

Our day in Austin was beautiful. We felt incredibly blessed and honored. From the moment we arrived, Rep. Dennis Bonnen took good care of us. We even went on a tour of the Capitol. It was also such a blessing to have Madison Brown with us in Austin…one of Brooke’s friends from BMT…along with her Mom, Dad and Brother. Although, she is still fighting GVHD, she has been cancer-free for over a year. It was our pleasure to include her and honor her along with Brooke. Senator Jackson and Rep. Bonnen both did an incredible job…and as we stood before everyone in the Senate and House, we tried our hardest not to sob. The feeling was overwhelming! Many times, Chaney and I looked at each other and said, “Brooke would love this.” (She loved attention, but in the moment, she always acted as if she didn’t notice). She would have marched right to the front of the House and Senate with her knees lifted high and her little crooked smile.

We were also so very proud of Taylor. Many Senators and Representatives came to meet us and hug us. They made a big deal over Taylor…telling her how brave she was, and what a good sister she had been. This blessed my heart. Over the last couple of weeks, I have noticed

Taylor struggling somewhat…as I have found letters to God and drawings of and about Brooke. I believe our day at the Capitol was a boost for her…and it did more for us…than I can ever put into words. Although, it was incredibly hard to stand there without the honoree, Brooke, I knew she was watching, and she was proud. I also felt God’s loving touch…letting us know that He has not forgotten us…and that Brooke’s life had, and still has, incredible meaning and purpose.

Thanks to all of our family and friends who joined us in Austin…it was great to share that special day with you. And a special thanks to Rep. Bonnen, Senator Jackson and staff for remembering and honoring our girl…I just wish you could have met her!

We also had the privilege of going to Brazosport Christian School this past week for a small ceremony to dedicate a tree in remembrance of Brooke. Many of the kids at BCS had pink and red ribbons that they hung on the tree and a stone underneath the tree that read “Brooke – 2006.” We all sang “Jesus Loves Me” as we held hands in a large circle around the “Brookie Tree,” and then closed with prayer. Thanks so much to Brazosport Christian School, the first grade class and Betsy Farkas…for making all this possible!! Again, we felt so honored.

Lastly, Taylor, Cassie and Aunt Zelle went to see Krystil Burney pitch the first pitch at the SFA softball and baseball games. Krystil was also a BMT patient and is now cancer free. Her family has been a tremendous blessing to our lives. And from Taylor, Cassie and Zelle, “It was an absolute honor to share your special day with you.” Go #12!!

I have posted new pictures on the Carepage of all these events. Also, our webpage will be going in about a week. It looks great…hurray! Also, please don’t forget to send pictures and recipes for our Cancer Kid Cookbook and get involved with our special Mother’s Day and Father’s Day Baskets.

Thanks for all your help,

Jessica

We now have a NEW bank account and P.O. Box. Do not send donations to the TX Dow Credit Union. We have closed that account. You can make checks payable to BIG Love Cancer Care and mail donations to:

B.I.G. Love Cancer Care

P.O. Box 10386

El Dorado, AR

71730

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Valentine’s Day and Cancer Walk Update…

Some tips…

Christmas and Valentine’s Day

BIG Love’s Childhood Cancer Walk-Run

June Newsletter and Monthly Pledges

B.I.G. Love Father’s Day

Mother’s Day at the Hospitals

A Story of Sacrifice and A Story of the Speedster Princess

B.I.G. Love is up and running!

Our Day at the Capitol

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